The House of Cooking, Part 1: Journey to the Centre of the House of Cooking

So it's been a while since I last posted. That's mainly laziness and sloth and procrastination. Did I mention sloth? Okay, things were also busy with vacation and my son turning two and housework and everything, but I'm sure I could have squeezed in a post here and there. However, I weighed my activity options for my free time and opted to instead watch cooking shows and occasionally play computer games.

I mention the cooking shows because, as you may have noticed from the title of this post, this is not going to be a House of Grammar post. (shock and dismay!!!) I figured I'd take some time to talk about garlic scapes.

I'll give you some background. D and I signed up earlier this year to be part of a CSA. We pay a monthly amount for a share in a local farm and receive weekly boxes of produce (with meat bi-weekly) locally grown and organic. However, we of course have no choice in what we receive, only in what sort of volume we get based on the price we pay for our share, and in what categories of produce we receive. Currently we are getting what is called an "appetizer" box of vegetables and the same of fruit. But what actually comes in the box each week is a surprise. It's sort of like our own Masterchef mystery box challenge.

Now, the surprise is great. In the spring, of course, we were deluged with turnip, cabbage, and potatoes, as well as carrots, apples and the occasional preserve. D and I had to be very creative to make turnip and cabbage interesting for about 2 months, but we managed. Turnip fries, scalloped turnips in cream of mushroom soup, cabbage rolls, coleslaw, an abortive attempt at fermented sauerkraut (I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but 2 batches of sauerkraut have developed mold on me without even starting fermentation) soups, stews, stir fries with cabbage leaves... the list goes on. We are now very comfortable with turnip and cabbage and never want to set eyes on it again.

Recently, however, we have been receiving a high volume of garlic scapes. For those who don't know, garlic scapes are apparently the stems of garlic bulbs that farmers trim this time of year to allow the garlic bulbs to grow larger. Apparently someone discovered they too have a strong garlic flavour and are easy to cook and prepare, so it's become another seasonal product you can get your hands on. Garlic scapes look horrific, in the truest sense of the word, especially when bunched together.

They are springy, green, grasping tentacles that look like they've been severed from the beard of cthulu. Despite their appearance, they are delicious. They are very much like green onion in terms of consistency when chopped, are easy to saute in butter and you can use them in place of fresh garlic for a lot of recipes. I was originally at a loss with what to do with them, especially given how many we have received, but D and I have come up with a couple of recipes that have been quite good. I'll share D's recipe first, as much of it as I know, since she made it when I wasn't around and I'm having to reverse engineer it a bit from what I remember of our discussion when planning the recipe, but I hope I hit all the points. I'm sure she will correct me if not.

There are, I will point out, a number of recipes out there for garlic scape pesto if you care to look. Also sounds quite good. I haven't made any yet but I plan to. I'm also planning to try my hand at some Lebanese food and I think garlic scapes might fit in nicely.

Oh, and if my recipe format is wrong, imagine me making a rude gesture when you think of scoffing.

Garlic Scape, White Bean, Asiago and Artichoke Dip
This dip is smooth and creamy and pairs well with tortilla chips for a snack. We have recently discovered that it can be added to great effect to macaroni and cheese to kick up the flavour.

1 can white kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 can artichoke hearts, drained and rinsed (if you want to use fresh artichoke hearts, go right ahead, but that's on you)
X number of garlic scapes, finely chopped, where X=the number of garlic scapes you want to get rid of
As much asiago as you like. I like Asiago, preferably fresh, but I would just get a brick and grate it until I felt like I had enough. (If you can't tell, I don't really measure ingredients. "To taste" is my watchword)
1-2 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper (D probably did not use either salt or pepper. They are anathema to her)
A couple capfuls of lemon juice

Dump the whole lot in a blender or food processor and run the bastard until the resulting mixture is smooth. Serve.

Shepherd's Pie with Garlic Scape and Asiago Mashed Potato Crust
This will probably not be considered a "shepherd's" pie by those who like to nitpick the provenance and categorization of pie. But it's my recipe, so it's a goddamned shepherd's pie. That introduction out of the way, this pie is rich and flavourful and the mashed potatoes are actually a joy to eat rather than sort of a dry cake to hold in the sauce. I will warn you, as a man, I make a lot of dishes when cooking. If you can think of a way to use fewer dishes, go right ahead. Your spouse will thank you.

2 cups of finely chopped lamb meat (not ground) from a cheap or on sale cut of lamb... don't use expensive lamb meat on a recipe like this, as it's just a shame. I used leg of lamb steaks that I bought for like 4 bucks each.
2 large or 4 small potatoes
1 cup of finely shopped garlic scapes
1 can of corn niblets
1 can of peas and carrots
1 white onion, finely chopped, your choice whether sweet onion like vidalia or not. Though I didn't actually have any onions on hand when I made this recipe, I would have liked to.
1-2 tbsp butter or margarine
1 tsp celery salt
1 tbsp all-purpose flour
3/4 cup beef broth
1-2 tsp dried or fresh thyme
1-2 tsp dried or fresh rosemary
A pinch of ground nutmeg
2-4 tbsp sour cream
1/2 cup grated cheddar cheese
1 tbsp vegetable oil
Salt to taste
White pepper to taste
Asiago. Remember what I said about Asiago above? The same applies here.

First, get a pot of cold water on the stove and put in your potatoes. Throw it on medium heat and leave it to come to a boil and then let it boil for 10-15 minutes. That should be done first because frankly, you then have time to just let that happen while you get everything else ready.

Now, take the butter and melt it in a small skillet, add your garlic scapes and give them a quick saute. Remove from heat.

Heat the vegetable oil in a large skillet on medium high heat and add the chopped onion, saute it for a couple minutes before adding the chopped lamb. Brown the lamb. Then stir in the flour and cook it for another couple of minutes before adding the beef broth, nutmeg, thyme, rosemary and a bit of salt and black pepper. Reduce the heat to low and stir occasionally until sauce thickens (about 5 minutes or so).

Take the meat and onion mixture and transfer it to a medium sized sauce pot on medium heat. Add the corn, peas and carrots, throw some celery salt at it and let it cook for a few more minutes.

By this time, if not before, your potatoes should be ready to mash. Reserve 1/4 cup of the potato water (sounds appetizing) and drain off the rest, then mash the potatoes (do I really need to explain how?) and add the sauteed garlic scapes (with the butter they were cooked in, please), sour cream, asiago, the potato water you reserved, some salt and white pepper. Mix this until creamy and smooth.

Now assemble the pie and throw it in the oven at 425 farenheit for about 15 minutes.

I have to explain that in more depth?

Okay, find an appropriately sized ceramic dish, insert meat and veggie mixture to about halfway up, settle the meat mixture by agitating the dish ("You're an inadequate piece of cookware! I slept with your wife!"... dishes are surprisingly easy to agitate) and then spread the potatoes over the top taking great care to not do what I did and mix the meat into the potatoes in some places, making for a bit of an ugly liver-spotted mess for my crust. Once potatoes evenly cover the meat, throw the grated cheese down on top as artfully as you desire and THEN pop it in the oven at 425 for about 15 minutes, or until crust is as crusty as you desire.

There you go. See the number of dishes? Insane. But worth it.