The House of Grammar Part 13: To Kill The House of Grammar

Ooooh. Photo in the centre. Will the awesome and unexpected changes never stop? No, they won't. Get used to it, and quickly (I could have said "and fast" but this is a grammar blog... ostensibly)

Okay, so I'm typing this on my new laptop. I have a confession to make: I hate laptop keyboards. The worst problem is the stupid mouse pad which puts my typing back at the mouse cursor every time the heel of my hand hits the stupid thing. The other problem is that the enter key is in an uncomfortable place and I often end up hitting \ instead. That having been said, I'm actually fairly pleased with the laptop, though ultimately I'll end up using a regular keyboard plugged in via USB instead. I'm just not going to bust into the attic while D is asleep to find one. So I will make do.

It was recently suggested to me by D based on a reply I made to a friend's facebook post that I do a blog about something. Well, I'm vain, and if someone tells me something I've done is neat enough to expand upon, I'm liable to go ahead and wax philosophical on the topic. Even if that person is D and automatically someone I should suspect of covert and even overt manipulation. But she's cute, so I typically fall for it anyway.

Anyway, a friend of mine mentioned that awkward was an awkward sounding word, to the point where it was almost onomatopoeic. I liked the idea, and decided to run with it, but I thought that in addition to awkward being it's own awkward word, we should also have a defining term to other words that are just, well, awkward. Although the word I'm about to use has been used before it does not appear to have been used in quite this context.

We're talking about "awkwords".

The link above speaks about a few definitions for this term that don't quite fit my intended meaning. Most of them speak to the social aspects of certain words, and how they can cause discomfort in certain conversational situations.

I'm talking about words that are just weird, make you question your spelling of them every damned time you try and put them down on paper. Conscience. Segue. Onomatopoeia. Definitely. Tomato (how many times have you wanted to put an "e" on that?) Incense. Broccoli. Nuclear.

Any word, essentially, where you have to think two or three times before you remember how it is actually spelled, and still wonder whether you are correct is an awkword. It's a word that never seems right to you, never seems quite like it fits, like a pair of jeans that's just a little bit too tight, or an office chair that won't recline quite enough to be that perfect combination of comfort and lumbar support that you're looking for. If you find yourself looking up the spelling in an internet search engine for a word you've said a thousand times when you're finally trying to put it on paper, that's an awkword.

So while this is a short post, I'd love if people posted a list of their own awkwords. We all have them, and not everyone experience the same difficulties with some words that others will. I'm absolutely fascinated to know what yours are, because I'm sure they'll be something unexpected.

Please post. There will be no ridicule. Well, not by me anyway. Unless it's really darned funny. Then there will be lots of ridicule.

I'm being disingenuous. Of course I won't mock you. But I welcome the discourse.